Lily Potter's Story
by Lily Rain21
Summary: Lily Potter makes a horrible mistake that results in Harry's death. Dumbledore then helps her in her quest to make things right again to save her son and the rest of the world from Voldemort's deadly grasps. please R
1. Chapter 1 New Beginning To An Old Story

**Okay so here is the deal. I'm changing the story. Not to much I'm just adding something in. I'm making this the first chapter instead. Get it? Sorry for the confusion. I just thought of something different. So tell me what you think about it.  
Oh p.s. the words: ostendo sum vicis means reverse time in Latin. :) **

_Chapter 1: The New Beginning To An Old Story_

Shifting uneasily I look at my gorgeous husband that I had hated so many years back. I couldn't believe I was at this point in my life. It was almost a perfect life except for the fact we were on the run. Our fate relied on a man that James trusted, but I wasn't so sure about.

"James? You are sure we are safe?"

Turning he smiled at me with that same smile that I had fallen in love some years ago. Those chocolate brown eyes filled my heart with warmth and I knew before he even answered we were safe. We just had to be.

"Don't worry my love I will keep you safe."

Sitting down next to me he put his arm around me and laughed at our son, Harry. Harry was parading around the room with a fake wand yelling out fake spells trying to imitate our actions.

"Assssoooo teddy bear!" He called pointing his wand at his teddy bear and concentrating hard.

You couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face. At least he was an eager learner. He would be a great wizard if he lived. _If he lived. _Those words echoed in my mind. Had I really just thought that? Surely he would live. He had to live...

"James...I'm still scared." I whispered in his ear.

Tilting my chin so that I had to look up at him he shook his head. "There is no need to be my dear. Please don't worry. Pettigrew will not betray us."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and we all froze in place even Harry. James moved forward to answer it but I held out my hand.

"No James don't...we will just sneak out the back and disapparate outside. James it could be him..."

Taking my hand he kissed it and got up to check the door. Fear was ablaze inside of me.

"Who is it?" James called.

No answer.

"Who is there?" James called once again his voice not as steady as it had been.

Still no answer.

Turning to look at me through the doorway I saw fear in his eyes.

"Take Harr..." Suddenly the door blasted open picking James up and slamming him against the wall.

"JAMES!" My heart had stopped.

No it couldn't be. No not the man that I had loved. The man that I had hated all those years and wasted precious time with him was laying dead pressed up against the wall, and the man that everyone feared and hated was approaching me and Harry about to take our lives as well.

Voldemort was smiling and laughing getting closer and closer to me whispering, "Lily Lily Lily aren't you oh so pretty." Throwing his head back he cackled in his high glass breaking voice.

That's when James appeared hunkered down and limping. He was alive! He was still alive.

"Bastard!" He hissed.

Voldemort turned around and at the sight of him let out another horrific laugh.

"Do you mean to kill me James Potter?"

James straightened up and tried to puff his chest out just like he would do in school. "You will not take my family away."

I couldn't see this. I believed James could defeat Voldemort but something in my heart told me that it wasn't time. Taking the crying Harry I rushed up stairs never looking back. I heard the screams and crashes from down below but I wouldn't let myself think about it. I couldn't think of my James dying. It was to terrifying to think of him not being here anymore with me.

Wrenching open Harry's bedroom door I locked it and tried to put the few protection spells that I knew on it. Placing him carefully in his crib I placed them on his crib as well. I couldn't bare to loose Harry too. He was so young. He was so innocent he didn't deserve this kind of life. No one does.

Standing between Harry and the door I prayed that James would stop him that all of this horror would end soon and I would never have to worry about Harry dying again.

My heart sunk as I heard the cackling nearing the door. "You think you can keep me out of this room!" The door flew off the hinges trapping me in its force as it hit the wall. Air gushed out of me.

"Noooo..." I whimpered unable to fully talk.

My vision was impaired and darkness was slowly creeping in. "Please don't..." I whispered unable to yell.

"Don't worry I will spare you Lily. You are not to die tonight." Laughing he pointed his wand at Harry.

My wand was standing not two feet from Voldemort's feet. I was completely helpless to my son. Watching desperately I saw Voldemort raise his wand and point it at Harry's head.

Harry held up his fake wand and whimpered, "No! Bad Voldy!"

Voldemort was slightly taken back. Stepping back he looked at the boy more eagerly. Then began to laugh.

"You stupid boy that is not a spell!"

Gathering the little strength I had left I crawled from out of the binds of the door and towards my wand. I knew that I would not go unnoticed but I just had to try. I just had to try to save Harry. Maybe just maybe I could.

"Here is your stupid wand." Throwing it at my feet he just stood back and watched my fatal attempts to stop him.

"You are so sure of yourself. More self centered than my husband. One day even if it is not me someone will stop you."

Laughing he flicked his wand at me and I was sent hurtling backwards.

**"AVADA KEDAVRA!" **

Screaming I winced expecting to be hit with green light. However, the pain did not come but darkness did.

* * *

"Lily! Oh Lily you have to wake up! Please don't die. Please awake! LILY!" 

Opening my eyes I saw Sirius staring back at me. I wasn't dead? How was I not dead?

Suddenly I sat up and looked at the crib. There was Harry sleeping peacefully. My heart soared. We had made it out alive.

"Harry!" Getting up I tried to go to him, but Sirius held me back.

"Wha...let me go! I want to see my son! Let me go! SIRIUS!"

He was crying and wouldn't let me go.

"Lily oh Lily he is dead..." His voice trailed off and he would not look me in the eyes.

Pushing him away I ran to Harry. Sirius had always been crazy and stupid. Harry wasn't dead he was just merely sleeping that was all. When I reached his crib my heart crumpled to the floor. His eyes were glassed over and he was staring straight ahead.

"NOOOO!" I had not been able to protect my only son.

"James?" I asked Sirius and by the look in his eyes I knew it was all over. I had lost everyone that had meant anything to me. They were all dead because of him.

Grabbing Sirius by the collar I bellowed, "KILL HIM SIRIUS YOU HAVE TO KILL HIM! KILL THAT STUPID RAT!"

Pushing me away he shook his head. "Don't you think I have tried? I found out right before Voldemort came here. I went for Pettigrew and he faked his death. The Ministry is looking for me to put me in Azkaban."

"They can't! The just can't your innocent!"

Shaking his head he looked solemn. "They can and they will. I have to run Lily. I am trying to find him don't worry."

Before I could say another word he disapparated. All alone in the rubble that had used to be my home I crept silently down the stairs. As if I really had anything to worry about.

Walking into the living room I found Hagrid standing in what was left of the living room crying his eyes out making a river on the ground.  
"Oh...Lily...Dumbl...Dumbledore...sent you...this." He gasped.

Slowly I took the letter looking at the giant crying helplessly. Saying nothing he just looked around and continued to cry. I didn't know what to say to comfort him. It was if I was numb. I was afraid to look towards my right where I knew for sure James probably was slain upon the floor eyes glassed over just as Harry's had done.

_My Dearest Lily, _

_You were such a wonderful student in school. So smart I'm sure you found many charms in order to try and protect your son, Harry. I know you failed Lily, but here is what you must do. You must fix it for you were supposed to die not Harry. Ah yes I know this sounds crazy as do most of the things I have told you these past few years, but please trust me you must go back in the past and fix this. If Harry does not live this world will end as we know it. Please use this spell. It is a new spell and will surely work just not in the way you expect it to. Believe me this time you will get it right. Time is not something to play with Lily remember that._

_Dumbledore._

_P.S. The spell is: **ostendo sum vicis** _

Looking at Hagrid I smiled and hugged him. "Don't worry Hagrid I will fix this."

Pointing my wand at myself I yelled, "**Ostendo Sum Vicis**!"

The world started spinning and darkness twirled its blackness in front of my eyes. Years passed by my eyes so fast I could barely tell what they were saying. Suddenly ahead I saw light and I went hurtling into it, and found myself falling down into a room. It was the History of Magic classroom and I saw myself trying to take a test being disturbed by a boy. Before I could remember anymore I slammed into a version of my younger self.

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**A/N: Okay so I hope you like the new little twist. :) please review! I would appreciate it!**


	2. Chapter 2 Could It Get Any Worse

**Disclaimer Note: I do not own anything.**

**A/N: Tell me what you think no flames please and thanks :) Reviews would be so so so great. Okay so here is the 2nd Chapter and Lily doesn't remember anything about what she has to do...yet...just to clear that up. :)  
**

* * *

_Chapter 2: Could It Get Any Worse?  
_

_"Who was the first witch that played Quidditch?"_

My mind was completely blank. I felt different. What had just happend? It almost felt as if something had fallen on me. Had someone thrown something on me? Looking around I found the familiar chocolate brown eyes staring back at me. For a moment I found myself blushing and I almost smiled until I remember that I was supposed to loathe James and his arrogant good for nothing self. Rolling my eyes he had probably be the one that had thrown whatever it was at me. Looking back down at my paper I tried harder to concentrate.

_"What is the name of the the witch who..."_

Suddenly a flying paper bird landed on my paper. Looking up I saw James staring at me again smiling and winking.

"What an ass." I whispered.

"What?" Looking at my friend Snape I smiled and shook my head trying to hid the paper bird.

"Nothing...sorry I was talking to myself." Laughing I tried to smile.

"Lily? This is a test it would be much appreciated if you didn't talk."

Looking up at Mrs. Potcotter I smiled sheepishly and mouthed sorry. When she finally looked away I turned myself to block Snape's view and opened the bird.

_Hey Lily. Meet me in the Great Hall and maybe we could go for a walk or something. I saw you staring. _

Rolling my eyes I quickly put down my answer:

_Over my dead body Potter. I'm surprised with your little "fan club" of girls you have enough time for me._

Quietly I tried to pull out my wand unnoticed. Mrs. Potcotter's back was turned and taking this advantage I turned the piece of paper into a tiger and sent it towards James hoping it would bite him.

"Ow!" James yelled.

Mrs. Potcotter turned around right as I had started to snicker.

"LILY! I have never seen you act this way! What have you done to Mister Potter?"

My mouth hung open. I had never gotten into trouble with her. Damn James.

"Nothing to say for yourself? DETENTION! Now get back to your test PLEASE!"

My jaw hit the floor. Detention? _Never _had I ever had detention before, and now all because of stupid James I had detention.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Snape give me a look and shake his head then look back down at his test. Biting my lip I felt a wave of sorrow wash over me. I felt bad. I knew Snape had feelings for me he always had. He has this accusation that I like James. Obviously after this stunt today I had no liking to the arrogant foul piece of a...my mind trailed off as I stared at the back of his head.

His hair looked as if it had never met the graciousness of a comb. The slender yet muscular body of his could send chills up your spine, and those chocolate brown eyes. Oh they were gorgeous you could loose yourself completely in them.

Turning around again he smiled. Oh that smile. It was better than his eyes. The way it was so mischievous and his teeth were so white it was like they too were smiling at you.

Shaking my head I caught myself. How could I think like that? No he was an arrogant son of a bitch who had just gotten me in trouble! I couldn't like him!

A deer was standing on my desk cocking its head at me. Quickly I opened it forgetting completely that Snape was next to me.

_Oh well they don't hold anything next to you Lily. Your better looking than them all. So you won't have a walk with me then?_

He had said I was better looking than them all! No! No he was bad news. I'm sure he says that to all the girls. Quickly I began to write him back.

_I most certainly will NOT have a walk with you. Not after the stunt you just pulled. I can't anyway I have detention thanks to you and your big mouth! Besides I won't fall for your silly little lines that you tell all the girls you want._

Forming it into a Phoenix I flew over to his desk hoping that Mrs. Potcotter hadn't seen me. Looking up at her I saw that she had her face down into a book. Quickly I looked at my completely unanswered test. Suddenly Snape stood up and walked up to the front of the room. Surely he hadn't finished! Soon after almost the whole rest of the class had finished as well. Just leaving James and me. My heart stopped. I had to finish before James got me in even more trouble.

"All of you that have finished you may leave."

Looking up my mouth fell open. Everyone got up leaving Harry and me by ourselves.

"Will you to hurry it up? Lily this is cutting into your detention time. Do you want to stay even later?"

Shaking my head violently I turned to look at James and glare at him. Looking back at my test I quickly began answering the ones that I knew. After a few minutes a paper dog came walking up onto my desk. Snatching it I began to read it.

_Stunt I pulled? Well you are the one that sent that biting tiger. I'll wait for you besides a walk in the moon light is more romantic, and you're the only girl I want Lily._

Angrily I stabbed my answer into the paper.

_Oh will you let up! You have caused me nothing but trouble! Can't you see I want nothing to do you pompous ass!_ _I will have nothing to do with you. Just go on your little walk by yourself!_

Making the paper into a bird again I flung it at him but it misguided and hit the teacher in the face.

"LILY! THIS BEHAVIOR IS UNACCEPTABLE! DO YOU WANT ANOTHER DETENTION!" She bellowed at me.

Sinking low in my seat I could feel my face light on fire from embarrassment.

Turning to James she questioned, "Are you done with your test?"

Nodding to her I could see that he had been in a fit of laughter at my expense, and was trying desperately to hold it back.

"Well then here have this stupid bird and LEAVE! Maybe then Lily will actually work without you disturbing her!"

"Yes ma'am." He laughed taking the bird. Walking by my desk he whispered, "See you in a little bit."

Gripping my quill I had to bite my lip not to come back with a harsh remark. Fiercely I looked down at my test filling in the rest of the answers. Slowly I walked up to the front of the room and handed her my paper.

"What was the cause of this behavior problem you have apparently developed in my classroom?"

I didn't know what to say. I loathed James, but it seemed a little harsh to blame the whole thing on him.

"I...I don't know I'm sorry...it...it won't happen again."

Nodding she waved me on. "You don't have to serve a detention. I guess every child is allowed one time to break the rules, but if you behave this way again you _will _have to serve one. Do you understand me?"

"Oh yes ma'am I'm sorry it won't happen again."

Turning I grabbed my stuff and opened the door crashing into a boy that was standing right beside the door clearly in my way.

"Oh gosh I'm sor...YOU!"

Smiling at me he picked up the books I had dropped.

"These are yours aren't they? Here you go."

Angrily I grabbed them and began walking away, and to my disappointment he followed.

"So how bout that walk then?"

Shaking my head I looked at him bewildered. "Didn't I answer you in the letter or can you not read?"

Laughing he shook his head. "I've always been able to read. I'm better at reading signals though, and I can see the signs you are giving me. I don't know why you are denying it. Lily clearly you like me."

It was my turn to laugh. "Well clearly Mr. Potter you can neither read actual words or my signals because in both I reject you."

What was it going to do to shake this guy?

"Aw come on Lily most girls would give the world to have a chance with me."

Glaring at him I spat, "Well I guess I'm not like most girls then am I?"

Smiling he shook his head. "No you're not and that Lily is what I like about you. So come on just have a walk with me. What will a walk hurt?"

Stopping abruptly I faced him head on. "When will you give up? When will you get this through your head! I don't like you and I don't want anything to do with you. When will you please just leave me alone?"

Looking at me still smiling his brilliant smile "One of these days Lily I'm going to actually believe what you are saying and I'm going to leave you alone forever."

Throwing up my hands exasperated I yelled, "Thank you! Please tell me when that day will be so I can get an early start in celebrating!"

Turning on my heels I walked away from him, and this time he didn't follow. For some reason I was disappointed him. I loathed him really I did, but it was somehow a wonderful feeling having the most handsome guy in the whole school like you. Of course he probably likes a ton of other girls...

"Why were you talking to him?" Snape asked nonchalantly.

"I wasn't. I was fighting with him. Why?"

Shaking his head he shrugged his shoulders. "He is bad news Lily..."

Rolling my eyes I turned on him. "Please I don't need a lecture from you today okay? Look I don't like him okay? I DON'T. So you don't have to keep talking about how bad he is alright?"

Stomping off from him I made my way to the Gryffindor Tower. Climbing into the portrait hole I met my friend Holly.

"Hey. I heard about your outburst with James! What happened are you going on a walk with him?"

Staring at her my mouth fell open.

"Are you serious? With...with JAMES! He is the most arrogant the most selfish...the most pompous...there are no words to describe him. He is a jerk I will not lower myself to his levels! He is just an...idiot."

Grabbing my wrist she spun me around. "You are crazy! Please just go have a walk with him he can't be that bad. Please?"

Rolling my eyes I yanked my wrist back. "NO!"

Stomping up the steps I threw my stuff onto the bed Holly was not to far behind me, unfortunately.

"Lily...ple..."

Turning around I looked her straight in the eyes. "Holly just because he is the most gorgeous boy in the whole school does not mean that I am entitled to go out with him! We are complete opposites. I actually have morals!"

Laughing she nodded her head. "You are right! But come on Lily. Admit you need a little fun in your life! You devote yourself to work work work work! You need to get out and have fun and that is what you will get with him! Just please for me! For me Lily!"

Rolling my eyes I grabbed my wand and pointed it at her relaxed like. "FINE, but if I regret this I'm killing you in your sleep!"

Laughing she called after me "That's fine! As long as I get the satisfactory of knowing I set you up with the greatest guy you will ever meet!"

She was an idiot. Possibly the dumbest friend I had half way to the Great Hall I couldn't believe I had listened to her. What was I doing? He wouldn't be there...not after the stunt I had pulled in the hallway.

"Hey Lily!"

Turning I saw James walking towards me. I didn't know if I should pretend to be happy to see him or just puke on the floor from the disgust of spending an evening with him.

"Were you walking to meet me for our walk?" He asked incredibly upbeat.

"Oh ya...that is definitely what I was doing." I hissed sarcastically.

"Yea I know because your friend Holly said you were looking for me."

Something exploded in me. Closing my eyes I pictured myself blowing up this whole school to rid it of the idiots it contained in it.

"Lily...what are you doing?"

Without opening my eyes I answered, "Trying out a new spell that I learned."

"And what would that be?" He asked seeming sort of eager which amused me.

"A spell that rids you of an annoyance. You are supposed to close your eyes and then when you open them the thing or person that annoys you won't be there."

Opening one eye I saw he was still there. "Apparently I still have to work at it."

He laughed and said, "Come on."

Slowly I walked forward wondering what on earth he had in store for me. Dreading my decision I wondered if it was going to be as bad as I expected it to be.

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A/N: Okay should I keep or delete this? I don't know about it please tell me what you think! 


	3. Chapter 3 It's No Walk In The Park

**Thanks so much for the reviews I got. Please keep them coming. I'm glad ya'll liked it :) **

_Chapter 3: It's No Walk in the Park _

* * *

After the first ten minutes I thought for sure my ear would fall of. James had been talking non stop. I don't even know what about. I stopped listening after I heard the words: _And then me and Sirius..._

We were now outside and walking around the grounds. Looking up at the night sky I saw the stars were winking down at us. I couldn't help but smile. They looked like the were shining brighter tonight than any other night. Maybe I was supposed to go on this date with James. Turning to look at him I tried to listen to what he was saying.

"It was really a funny story. Professor Trelawney you know she is absolutely insane. Well you see she spouting off at the mouth about something..."

Rolling my eyes maybe James should date Professor Trelawney. At the thought of it I laughed out loud.

James stopped and looked at me. "See I told you it was a funny story! For a moment I thought you weren't listening. See told you I could give you a good time."

Stopping I looked at him smiling, "When exactly did you tell me that?"

Pausing he looked around nervously. "Well I thought it in my head."

Shaking my head I laughed. "Of course you did."

He grew silent for a moment just staring at me. I couldn't believe that he could actually be quiet for more than a second. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and yanked me forward knocking me into him. Loosing his balance we fell then rolled down the steep hill we had apparently been standing on.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!" James yelled.

Finally we tumbled to a stop at the shore of the lake.

"Oh! James...Potter look...at...what...you...have done!" I breathed.

I had lost a shoe and my shirt was shredded. This would look great walking into the common room with James like this. Tilting his head back he just laughed his hearty laugh.

"Oh come off it, will you!"

Angrily I yelled, "**ACCIO BUCKET!**"

He laughed again. "What are you going to do with a bucket?"

"THIS!"

Taking the bucket I went to the lake filled it up and threw it all over him.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

Flinging the bucket at him I screamed, "Oh come of it will you! POMPOUS ARSE!"

Stomping up the hill I left him alone cold and wet. I hoped he caught a cold. When I had finally reached the Great Hall I heard my name being called by Snape.

_"Great...just great."_ I thought.

"Lily...why are you...um...?"

Just then James came blasting into the room soaking wet. Angrily he stomped over to me.

"I'm the pompous arese! I'M THE POMPOUS ARSE! WELL YOUR A STUCK UP STICK IN THE MUD!"

Suddenly he noticed Snape was standing by me. Grabbing Snape's wrist he pushed up his sleeve.

"AND YOU HANG OUT WITH A DEATH EATER!"

My mouth hit the floor at the sight of what had been tattooed on Snape's arm. Had I not seen what he had become? Looking at them with disgust I turned on my heel and walked towards the Gryffindor Tower unaccompanied by Mr. Potter.

Nearing the portrait hole the Fat Lady busted into a fit of giggles at the sight of me.

"And what happened to you? Did you get in a fight with a lion?"

My fists clenched I muttered, "No worse an arrogant good for nothing boy."

She didn't hear me but could not for the life of her stop laughing.

"Oh would you give it a rest! SCAR!"

Stopping she gave me a look. "Well excuse me."

Swinging open the door I stomped inside, and she slammed the portrait closed. Suddenly I heard her laughing again.

"What on earth has happened to you! Were you wrestling the sea monster?"

I knew it was James. Quickly I ran trying to make it out of the common room unnoticed. Too late Holly had seen me.

"Goodness! Lily what on earth happened.

The whole common room turned to stare at me. My face flushed and before I could answer James strolled in. Giving each other a dirty look we stomped off our different ways.

* * *

"RUNNNNNN!" barreling down a steep hill two boys were running from gigantic spiders. 

One of the two was James...no that wasn't James. This boy was younger and had...green eyes. Green eyes like mine. The boy beside him looked as if his hair had been set on fire it was so red. They both had a look of terror in their eyes.

I couldn't see well it was all blurry, but strangely I didn't feel fear. It seemed as if they were running straight towards me, but I felt nothing. Where was I?

Suddenly the scene changed to a broken down building.

There were so many people standing around. The boy who looked like James, a strange girl with extremely poofy hair, and the fire red haired boy. Then there were two men who looked oddly familiar. One had a crazy look in his eye and appeared to be an older and more ragged Serious Black. The one pointing his wand appeared to be...maybe...Lupin, but I couldn't be for certain. Where was James and where was Peter?

Suddenly the James look alike spoke to Sirius, "YOU KILLED MY PARENTS!"

Gasping I stared at him. Sure he was an idiot and foolish but to kill someone! Sirius would never do such a thing. This boy must be mistaken.

"How could you Sirius. Your best friend how could you kill James like that? How!"

WHAT! _Killed James?_ My heart was sinking James...the boy he looked like James could this be his son. Those eyes...they were identical to mine. Surely...surely...no James and I married? No most certainly not. Eager to find out more I tried to listen intently but the scene changed once again.

This time it was a fight and a horrible person was fighting an older James. I knew it was him immediately he had not changed a bit.

"TAKE HARRY HIDE HIM RUN LILY RUN!"

Sure enough there I stood with the James look alike. What was this? No...surely no. James wasn't about to die.

"JAMES!" Both of us screamed.

* * *

"Lily! Lily! Wake up wake up!" 

Opening my eyes I saw I was in my dormitory. Had it all just been a dream? No it was much to livid...could it have been a vision?

"Lily why were you hollering James's name?" Holly asked with a look of concern on her face.

Shaking my head I threw the covers off and ran out of the room grateful she didn't follow. Quickly I dashed through the common room and up the boys stairs. What room was his? Which one could it be.

"Lily?"

Whizzing around I saw James staring at me from one of the rooms.

"Oh! James James!"

Throwing my arms around his neck I breathed him in. He smelt warm and comforting if that could even be described as a smell, but that is what he smelled of. It felt good to be near him. My loathe for him had dripped away.

"Are you out of your mind?"

Breaking away from him I saw his face. He was still mad at me. Surely he had had the dream as well.

"Did you not..."

"Why are you here? You aren't supposed to be here. Did you find another bucket of water you would like to throw on me? No? Okay well then why don't you leave I have nothing to say to you! You are completely insane and I never want to talk to you again." With that he slammed the door in my face leaving me standing out in the middle of the boys hallway.

Slowly I turned and walked down the stairs and laid down upon the sofa in the common room. I was so stupid. How could I have done what I had just done. To think a dream was a vision. After what had happened tonight my mind just was stuck on James...I was stupid. Closing my eyes I drifted off to sleep again.

* * *

"You have a bed you know." 

Opening one eye I saw James standing in front of me looking angry. What on earth could he be angry about? Was I sleeping on _his _sofa.

"I'm sorry I didn't know I was disturbing you here."

Rolling his eyes he sat down across from me on a chair.

"So now you are going to be mad at me. You are crazy. First you throw water on me, then you yell at me in the Great Hall, then you show up in the boys dormitory, and then you hug me. What has gotten into you?"

Sitting up I glared at him, "Well it is none of your business anyway! You are obviously still furious with me so I won't tell you. I have a right to act crazy you don't own me. I will act how I please." Getting up I stomped out of the room.

"Lily wait!" Running after me he stepped on the stairs and immediately they turned into a slide, and he tumbled down.

"Wha..."

I left him there astonished and looking stupid. I had no desire to speak to him anymore. I had been crazy to actually hug him. Then his scent came back to me and how wonderful it felt to be hugging him. He was right I was completely crazy.

* * *

For the next couple of weeks my dreams continued getting more detailed. However, never again had I dreamed of my son. Most of it was things with James and I. Then James and I the night of James's death. It was a recurring dream as if I was really reliving it, but how could you relive something that had never happened to you. Or had it happened to me? I had this strange feeling that there was something that I needed to know.

James had not talked to me in days. We were officially not speaking to one another. Sometimes though I would steal a glance at him wondering if he would really turn out to be my husband. Part of me didn't want this to happen because if it did what if my dream came true? I didn't want him to die.

It had been a month since the dreams had started and I was late to class...yet again. I was sleeping more and seemed to miss every class I was taking. My grades were seriously on the fritz.

"Lily?" I heard a voice call

Turning I saw Dumbledore smiling at me. "Will you please come with me to my office."

Standing perfectly still I wondered if he was really talking to me. Surely he wasn't...besides I had to get to class. Why couldn't he just wait till later? Reluctantly I followed him silently into his office.

Ushering me to sit down he filled a goblet with creamy golden liquid. "Here have a drink."

Taking it carefully I lifted it to my lips and within seconds I found myself draining the goblet completely.

"Thank you...sorry I didn't..." I found my voice trailing away. What was happening to me?

"Lily...come back to me...Lily Lily Lily Lily..." Dumbledore was calling to me, but I didn't want to go to him.

The place I was going was much better. There was a field of grass and colored leaves were falling everywhere. The sun was shining brightly and I began skipping around singing. Finding a patch of flowers I began to pick them.

"Lily." A voice spoke to me.

Turning around I saw the older James I had seen in my dreams.

"Lily." He whispered. His voice was so soft and tender I couldn't help but near it.

Holding out his hand he brought me close to him. "Lily." He repeated once again. His voice was so elegant and buttery.

"Come back to me. You know what you were supposed to do. Lily please you have to save us. If you do this. You will come back to me Lily please I miss you..."

_"I miss youuuu..." _His voice rang on and on drumming into my ears no longer sounding beautiful as it had been.

Covering my ears I found myself screaming.

"LILY!" Someone was shaking me and screaming just as James had done.

Blinking my eyes I found that it was Dumbledore he seemed to be moving his mouth but I could hear nothing. What was he saying? He looked very frightened. What was happening?

My head began rolling and hard to keep up. Slowly darkness engulfed me in its sweet serenity.

* * *

_A/N: Okay I know I know short chapter. I might add more later. But tell me what you think please :)_


	4. Chapter 4 At Worlds End?

**Okay so here is Chapter 4. I hope you have liked it so far. Reviews would be nice :) I hoped you liked the new beginning...Thanks for few people that reviewed **

_Chapter 4: At World's End?  
_

* * *

"Thump, thump, thump." The sound of someone's heart filled the room. 

It was drumming in my ears making it impossible to hear anything else. Whose heart was it? Could it be mine? I could barely even feel mine beating. Was I dead? Whose was it and why was so loud I could hear nothing else?

My hands were clammy and I couldn't see anything at all. My breath was shaky and my mind was blank. Where was I? Hastily I tried to breathe in, but it was to treacherous of a job.

Something cold and hard was lifted up to my lips. It was a cool thick liquid like mucus. I tried to pull away, but I had absolutely no strength. Slowly the liquid began to slide down my throat. I could feel it streaming down into the fiery pits of my stomach. Suddenly jolts of pain were erupting everywhere from beneath my skin as if something was trying to get out but couldn't.

I tried to open my eyes but it was to hard. It required to much strength. Why was I this weak? I couldn't even open my eyes something was definitely wrong with me.

What had Dumbledore done to me? Or had it been Dumbledore at all? Surely he would not do something like this to me. No this wasn't the work of him. Someone had disguised themselves to be like Dumbledore and had tricked me. I was so stupid. How could I have been this stupid?

I had been so concerned about going to class that I had let my guard down. It was surely James and one of his friends playing a sick prank on me. Once I get out of this they will definitely get a piece of my mind. How could he do this to me? I know we had not been on good terms, but surely he could not hate me this much! Or could he?

Again I tried to take a deep breath. And again I was unsuccessful. It felt as if a giant was sitting on my lungs making it almost impossible to breathe.

I wanted to kick and scream. I wanted someone to help me, and for James to stop being so stupid and immature. I knew all of this was just a stupid wish. That I was to weak to do anything but lay here helplessly. Was there a spell to wipe all the strength from someone? And if there was surely James did not know how to use it. He was good but not that good. Even this was to advanced for him.

Breathing was becoming harder and harder. My body had seemed to loose all desire to continue on with life. Was he slowly killing me? Surely not...suddenly a weird sensation interrupted my thoughts and began to pull at my stomach.My whole body began to shake madly.

"Stop it! Stop! Leave me alone!" I bellowed.

No one answered, and I realized that I hadn't really screamed. It was all inside my head. The only thing that could be heard was the silence screaming into my ears, bouncing off the walls, and dancing around in my eardrums. It was deafening.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Still nothing. It was all inside my head. I could not find my voice it was lost into the silence. Slowly but surely the darkness and deafening silence was taking over me. I wanted to fight it. I didn't want to die, but then I couldn't help but think what it would be like to die. I wasn't in any pain. Maybe it could just take me away, and there would be nothing to worry about anymore.

_"Fight, fight, fight, fight it, please fight it Lily please..."_ The voice was soft but it still managed to shatter the silence.

Who had that been? They were telling me to fight it. Fight death? Was I truly dying? Maybe I didn't want to fight it. Or maybe I wasn't supposed to. It could just be my time.

Suddenly I found that the giant sitting upon my chest was now choking me completely, and I could not breathe at all. Sputtering I tried to search for air but it had run away with my voice. Slowly a film of darkness blackened my eyes out once again, and the world slowly drifted away from my conscious.

* * *

"I can not believe you did this to her! The older version has more memories and will overpower her younger brain. This will definitely change the outcome of the future if you _kill _her!" 

She was furious. She could not believe he had been so foolish. Certainly with age he had grown more wisdom, but it appeared with age he only acquired foolishness. How could he have mad such a decision? Who had he consulted? Probably no one. That is how he worked alone and secretly. That is how it would always be. Only a select few were let into his little "inner circle".

Dumbledore shook his head concentrating on her unmoving body. She was so still. Not a muscle moved or twitched. What had happened to her?

"She can do this. That is the only reason I would have sent her back here like this. She can do it Minerva. Just give her some time..."

Pacing around the room she looked wildly around his office. How could he do this? How could he be this stupid? Of all the things to do...this was the biggest mistake he could have ever made. To play with time and death! This would not lead to a good ending. There would be pain, pain that would be unbearable in the end.

"That is the one thing, unfortunately that we do not have Albus! Look at her! Does she look like someone who has _time?_"

Saying nothing he stood stock still just like Lily. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Walking towards her he knelt by her arm and felt her pulse. It was weak. How long did they really have? Surely this couldn't kill her. Surely he knew what he was doing in the future. Surely he did.

"Alert the teachers one of them must know what to do. How someway...to...help her...Slughorn! We can use him and he...he will know of a potion..."

Slowly he stood up. Finally he ripped his eyes away from her dying body. Shaking his head he walked past Minerva tiredly he steadily moved to sit in his desk chair.

"Minerva. No one can know of this especially Slughorn. You know what will happen if he finds out that this move has taken place? He will feel even more threatened than he felt in their time, and come after her before it is time. This must stay between you and me no one else."

Minerva shook her head looking furious. Again she started to pace the floor. What were they to do? How could they save her? It was not her time. There had to be something...anything that they could do, but what?

Looking up she studied him he was deep in thought as well as her. Surely as he grew older he could not be this foolish. They were looking over something they had to have been. Or maybe it was just Lily. Maybe she was just having a hard time coping with two of her.

Shaking her head she studied him harder. He looked solemn for this was a jam that he had wedged himself into. Could he ever get out of it? Not two feet away from him laid a woman that would give birth to the boy that could save the world, but now...there was no hope. This was all of his fault. Or was it? It was all to much. Standing up slowly he faced his colleague.

"Minerva if your husband and child were taken from you and then you had a way to save at least one of them would you do it immediately?"

"Well of course!" She exclaimed. "What does this..."

Interrupting her he continued, "You see these two women are the same and yet they are different. She has changed over time. It is also possible she has hidden herself away in her younger version forgetting her task, and forgetting who she truly is. Something triggered her inside and the older and younger version began to fight perhaps. However, the younger Lily can not know everything that will happen to her. We must find a way to get the older Lily out of the younger Lily to stop the corruption they are both causing each other. However, the older Lily must stay here because she has to help her younger self, but how can she do that?"

Minerva stood in front of him completely dumbfounded and angry. Tapping her foot with her arms crossed she glared at him.

"Well maybe Dumbledore this isn't a task for us to fix. Maybe it is just up to Lily." She spat sarcastically.

Smiling he nodded. "I couldn't have said it better myself."

Aghast she threw her arms up in the air and turned back to Lily. She was twitching a bit. Maybe Dumbledore was right she just needed some time.

* * *

The world was dark. There was nothing there. Where had everything gone? Maybe my eyes were still closed and I was just dreaming. Taking a step forward an echo screamed into my ears knocking me onto butt. This wasn't a dream. I could feel pain. 

"You have to save your son." An airy voice called. Or more like screamed because of the unbearably loud echo.

Turning to face where the voice had come from I blinked furiously. I could see nothing. My son? Who was my son? I didn't have one...

"Hello? Who are you...or where are you?"

Silence. No one spoke or moved.

I tried to tiptoe away from where the voice had come from but even the slightest noise was to loud. Where could I be? This had to be a dream. There was no way this was real...it was that liquid stuff James or someone had given me to drink. I bet they are getting a kick out of this.

"James I know this is you cut it out!"

Covering my ears I squatted to the ground. The loudness of my voice almost exploded my ear drums.

"This isn't James." The voice was soft and suddenly the echo went away.

Turning towards the voice I saw someone walking towards me. Groping at my pocket I tried to find my wand. It wasn't there. Where could it be? Had I lost it? Fear seared through me.

The person neared and I realized I had nothing to fear. It was me...or was it? She was much much older, but it had to be. She was wispy and wasn't taking steps like a regular person. She was almost gliding towards me her face was solemn like she had experienced a great deal of sadness. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, but I knew that it should probably remain unknown.

"Show Snape that you and him aren't meant to be. Make him hate you...you have to hate him. Don't give him a second chance after his mouth mutters that one hateful word: mudblood." Her eyes never wavered from mine giving me a chill up my spine.

Standing there dumbfounded I wondered what she meant. Snape call me a mudblood? Even he wasn't that horrible. He was going down a pretty rough path, but surely he wouldn't stoop that low.

Suddenly I remembered the continues dreams. The ones that I had been so confused about with everyone that I thought I knew but didn't. Is this my future that I was seeing? Had she been inside me this whole time? This is why I passed out before, and why Dumbledore called me to his office.

"Why are you here? Are you the reasons that I keep having those dreams?" I found myself asking. I couldn't help it, the words just jumped from my mouth.

She seemed to think for a very long time. "Dreams are only dreams nothing more and nothing less. Something your mind cooks up to entertain itself it during the night."

I didn't believe her but I'm sure she probably knew that. I should have known that she wouldn't answer me. She knew as well as I that knowing your future can be more dangerous than you think.

"Go back." She told me. "You have to go back now. I will still be here inside you. I will be here until what I was sent here to do is fixed. You have to go back."

She sounded angry and to persuasive. I didn't want to go back, and I hated the way she was wanting me to.

"No. Look at where you have gotten me so far. If you keep staying inside me you will tear me apart. It wasn't meant to be this way. You should have known that."

She shook her head, "I have to stay with you. You don't understand if I don't this is what the world will become. Nothing."

"Well you can't stay with me. We will both die."

She was quiet for several minutes. Then finally she nodded her head and pointed her wand at me whispering some kind of spell that I had never heard. A gold light burst out of her wand and hit me square in the chest sending me flying backwards into Dumbledore's office.

* * *

Opening my eyes I saw the place where I had fallen. Dumbledore was hovering over me only this time I could actually hear his words instead of a strange heart beating. 

"Lily? Have you come back to us now?" His voice was soft and low to where I had to strain to catch every word he threw at me.

The light burned my eyes and I had to blink several times before I could get adjusted to the difference. Looking around I saw something that surprised me. On top of Dumbledores desk sat the older version of me looking extremely forlorn.

"Hey." I said to her.

She looked surprised and lifted her finger to her lips. Both Minerva and Dumbledore turned to try and see who I was talking to.

"You sure your okay Lily?" Professor McGonogall questioned.

Biting my lip I smiled and nodded to her. "I'm alright now thanks." I muttered quickly standing up feeling a bit woozy I swayed just a bit.

Professor and Dumbledore surveyed me wondering if they should really believe that I was alright.

"Maybe you should spend the night in the..." Professor McGonogall tried to persuade me to stay the night in the hospital but I refused.

Walking out of the office I made straight way for the Common Room. Hopefully no one had noticed my absence and wouldn't inquire about how odd I had been acting.

Stopping on the staircase I turned around looking carefully behind me. The older version of me was no where in sight.

"Where could I be?" I asked myself aloud.

Suddenly realizing what I had just done I looked around. No one was there. No one had heard me. Which was good. Slowly I continued my way up to get a good nights sleep.

* * *

_A/N: Hope you liked the chapter sorry it has been so long. Please R&R. Thanks so much. :)  
_

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